I've been consulting with a client this week on her time management skills. Kayla (name changed for privacy) is a grandma who is the main daytime caregiver for her three grandchildren. The kids are all school-age, so Kayla is responsible for getting them to the school bus in the morning and picking them up after school. While the kids are in school, she has a part-time job in a retail store. She doesn't watch the kids at nights or on weekends. So during this time, she attempts to catch up with household TO DOs, go shopping and run other errands, and work on her volunteer efforts. Kayla has a big heart and volunteers for her church, local library, and town beautification committee.

Kayla called me a few weeks ago for help. She was feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. She forgot to pay a bill this week, and ended up with a hefty penalty for missing the deadline. One of her grandkids wasn't feeling well, so she had to miss work for three days. Plus, she had to stay up extra late because she previously agreed to help her church out with a craft sale they were hosting.

It was obvious to me that Kayla was reaching a breaking point. So, as I sat down with her over coffee, I first asked her about the situation with her grandkids. Apparently, her daughter is a single mom who went through a divorce a few years ago. Kayla offered to help with the kids at the time so her daughter could work, but it was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while her daughter found child care options. So, I asked if she asked her daughter about the status of that arrangement and she said, 'I haven't. I feel my daughter expects me to help and will be mad if I can't.'

This happens often. A family member takes on an obligation, with all his or her heart, and then they feel they can never stop.

So, the first item on the agenda was for Kayla to speak to her daughter about an arrangement that, perhaps, didn't depend on Kayla so heavily. This was a very difficult thing for Kayla to do, but she mustered up her strength and had a heart-to-heart with her daughter. It ended up working out great because now Kayla is caring for her grandkids two out of the five days a week. The rest of the days will be daycare. And Kayla's daughter, not Kayla, will take off from work if the kids are ever sick, which is infrequent.

I asked, 'Did this cause an emotional issue with your daughter?' Kayla said, 'Surprisingly, no. She was very understanding and was happy with whatever help I could give.' So, as it turned out, what Kayla thought her daughter expected, and what her daughter actually expected, were two different things.

Bottom line, it pays to have a conversation to get the facts.

Moving on, I asked Kayla about her part-time job. She loves it and it's her way to be around people and be part of the workforce. So, there didn't seem to be any issues to work on in this area.

Finally, we moved on to Kayla's volunteer efforts. She told me she really enjoyed all of them and wasn't quite ready to give any of them up. However, I also was able to get her to agree with me that she may be stretching herself thin. For instance, she agreed to help out with her church craft sale, even though she already agreed to volunteer time helping her town beautification committee this month for the holiday season. She admitted she has a big problem saying no when people need her help.

I suggested to her that she balances her time between the three organizations and never say 'Yes' immediately before she takes the time to consider what is already on her plate in any particular month. She agreed to only work on 'extras' for these organizations at a rate of one project in any given month. So, if she's already working on town beautification in December, for instance, she has to decline craft sale help if that's also in December.

Then, I helped her with a paradigm shift when it comes to saying 'No.' When you say 'No,' rather than think you're saying no to the PERSON, realize you're simply saying no to the REQUEST. Also, keep in mind that there is only so much time in the day. Plus, it's much better to volunteer when you're in a good mood, don't feel over-extended, and you can give it your full attention. Here are 5 tactful ways to say 'No.'

1. 'Although I'm flattered you've asked me to help out with this event, I just don't have the time to do so with all of my other projects.'

2. 'I can't volunteer to help with the school field trip, but I'd be more than happy to help with projects I can do from home, like prepping art projects.'

3. 'I don't have the time necessary to give this project my full attention, and I can't accept projects that I can only offer limited focus on.'

4. 'Thanks for asking, but my Saturdays are dedicated to my family and my own mental well-being.'

5. 'My schedule is already booked to the max, so although I appreciate you asking, I have to decline your kind offer.'

I had a follow-up call with Kayla yesterday and she's in a much better place, time-wise and mentally. Bottom line, it's important to put yourself in the driver's seat when it comes to managing your time and schedule.

P.S. If you're looking for ways to make the most out of the time in your days, here are 501 Tips and Ideas for Finding More Time for the Things You Love!

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___ 1. Do today's task on my December Monthly Organizing Checklist. The December 8 TO DO focuses on your pots and pans. Visit GetOrganizedNow.com to access my December Monthly Organizing Checklist.

___ 2. Assess your current schedule. Are you doing too much, too little, or just the right amount for your liking?

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