Have you nagged yourself blue-in-the-face to no avail when it comes to getting your spouse to organize...or even just help out with tasks and projects? Even
though we ourselves dislike being nagged, it's sometimes hard to realize when we're doing it to others. Nagging drives wedges between people.
There is an easier way to get a more willing
partner in your quest to be organized. Here are 6 ways to help get your better half to help out without nagging.
1. Set a good example. Begin by organizing your own things first. First, you
have more control over your own stuff. Second, it's much easier to ask your spouse to organize his or her side of the bathroom, for example, when your side is orderly and neat.
2. Don't declutter your
spouse's personal belongings. Don't assume that it's OK for you to declutter or trash your partner's personal belongings when he/she isn't around. That's not something we'd like someone to do to us. Ask first.
3. Give your spouse advance warning. Do you let your husband/wife know ahead of time when you're ready to start an organizing, cleaning, or repair project that is going to involve him/her?
Think for a moment how you would feel if, out of the blue, contrary to or regardless of plans you already have, someone announces that they need you to do tasks around the house?
Rather than springing your plans on your spouse, discuss plans ahead of time and ask when he/she is available and would be able to assist. Get this date/time on both of your calendars.
4. Ask for your partner's opinion. As you're working on your decluttering projects, get your spouse into the organizing game. Ask if they think the item is worthy of donating, adding to the rummage sale pile, or better off thrown in the trash/recycled, etc.
If you really want something gone, and he or she does not, suggest putting it in a box and getting rid of it IF it's not used in the next 3 months, 6 months, etc.
5. Let your better half know how you're feeling. If your spouse's desk is in the main living area and driving you crazy, don't wait for him/her to read your mind. Have a heart-to-heart conversation. Let your spouse know that, because the desk is in this main area, the surface clutter makes you feel a bit chaotic.
Then work on this challenge together to figure out how to solve it.
Maybe your spouse will just clean it up at this point. This is the best case scenario.
If not, perhaps you can both agree to set up a date and time to organize it together.
If your spouse doesn't want anything
moved or hidden, suggest the desk be moved to a less visible area or that you two purchase a folding screen so it can be hidden from view.
Be creative. There are lots of possibilities that
don't involve nagging.
6. Use positive reinforcement. When your spouse cooperates with your organizing efforts, or starts organizing (or cleaning or repairing) without you
even asking, be sure to thank him or her...even if it's not done exactly the way you would have done it. Just as we like appreciation for a job well done, so do our spouses.
I'd love to
hear from GON readers on this topic. If you live with a husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend, what works for you and your better half? I'd love to publish your comments in a future issue.
