GON Reader Question from Diana O.
Hi Maria,
How do I declutter items that were gifts from my husband without hurting his feelings? When you live with someone, they will notice if a gifted item is missing.
For example, I have a gigantic plush frog and elephant in the bedroom that was cute when we were first dating but now (20 years later) it takes up space and collects dust.
Anyway, any tips to help me navigate this touchy area would be helpful.
Thanks!
-- Diana O.
Response from Maria
Hi Diana,
I’m so glad the ABCs of Decluttering has been helpful for you. "Let Go of Guilt" is such a freeing concept, especially when it comes to sentimental items like gifts from loved ones.
It’s clear how much thought and love went into the plush frog and elephant your husband gave you early in your relationship. They represent sweet memories and the joy of those moments together. But as you said, it’s been 20 years, and your needs for the space have changed.
Here are a few ways you can navigate this touchy area with care and consideration:
1. Start with a Conversation
Gently share your thoughts with your husband. Explain how much
those gifts meant to you and the memories they hold. A heartfelt conversation can go a long way in making him feel included and respected in the decision.
2. Create a Memory Instead of Keeping the Item
Consider taking a special photo of
the plush frog and elephant in a way that commemorates their place in your relationship’s history. You could add the photo to an album or even frame it as part of a keepsake wall in your home. This keeps the sentiment alive without holding onto the physical items.
3. Offer a New Purpose for the Items
Sometimes it’s easier to part with something when you know it will bring joy to someone else. Look for a charity, children’s hospital, or family in need who might welcome the plush animals. Share this idea with your husband—it could help him see that letting them go doesn’t mean forgetting them, but instead giving them a new life.
4. Rotate Special Keepsakes
If you have other sentimental items you’d like to display, suggest a rotation system. For example, you could temporarily pack away the plush animals to display something else meaningful to both of you. This approach lets you honor your past while keeping your space fresh and
functional.
Thank you so much for trusting me with this question, Diana. I love how thoughtful you are about honoring your husband’s feelings while also recognizing the need to make your space work for you. With a little communication and creativity, I’m confident you’ll find the perfect solution.
By the way, if you do choose to let the plush animals go, consider adding a little celebratory moment, like sharing a cup of tea together while reminiscing about those early dating days. It’s a beautiful way to acknowledge the sentiment while embracing the next chapter of your life together.
Warmly,
