Living with others who aren’t as organized as you can be challenging. You love a clutter-free home and the sense of calm that comes with everything being in its
place. But when your spouse, kids, or live-in relative doesn’t share that same enthusiasm for tidiness, it can feel like you're constantly cleaning up after them or, worse, turning into a nag.
So how do you encourage them to get on board with being more organized—without driving them or yourself crazy?
A good place to start is with open communication, collaboration, and a little bit of patience. Here are some strategies to inspire your loved ones to be more organized in a way that works for everyone.
1. Hold a Family Meeting to Collaborate. Instead of letting frustration build up, call a family meeting to get everyone involved in the conversation. This is a great opportunity to talk about why organization matters to you and to hear what works (or doesn’t work) for the rest of the family. By making it a group discussion, you’re not just imposing rules, but opening up a
collaborative dialogue.
In the meeting, ask everyone how they feel about the current state of things and what might help them stay more organized. Maybe your spouse prefers a different type of system for keeping keys and mail in order, or perhaps your kids would benefit from visual reminders like checklists or labeled
bins.
Everyone can pitch in ideas, and together, you can come up with a plan that feels fair and manageable for everyone.
2. Start by Setting an Example. One of the most effective ways to motivate others is by leading through action. If you maintain a clean and organized environment, it can subtly inspire others to do the same. Keep your spaces, like the kitchen, living room, or bedroom, tidy and organized. Over time, your family may begin to see the benefits of a clutter-free space and start to follow suit.
Instead of saying, “Can you pick this up?” consider commenting on how much you enjoy how relaxing and functional the space feels once everything is put away.
3. Make It Fun and Collaborative. Turn organizing
into something fun rather than a dreaded chore. Play music, set a timer for 15 minutes, and see how much everyone can get done in that time. You can even make a game out of it, like seeing who can organize the most items or find the best
storage solution for their things. Involving your family in the decision-making process also helps. Let your kids choose their own bins or give your spouse the freedom to arrange their workspace as they see fit. When they feel like they have a say,
they’re more likely to stay committed to keeping things organized.
4. Share the Benefits of Organization. Not everyone naturally sees the value in being organized, so it helps to explain how it can personally benefit them. For example, talk to your kids about how organizing their school supplies can make getting ready
for school easier in the morning. Or explain to your spouse that keeping track of important documents reduces stress when they need something in a pinch.
Frame organization as something that saves time, lowers stress, and makes life easier, rather than focusing purely on aesthetics.
5. Offer Gentle Reminders (Not Nagging). Constantly reminding someone to clean up can come off as nagging, leading to resentment or resistance. Instead, try gentle nudges when something needs to be done. For example, if your spouse tends to leave their shoes by the front door, instead of saying, “Pick up your shoes,” try, “Do you think we should put a shoe rack here for your shoes? That way, they’ll be out of the way but still easy to find.” This approach opens a conversation rather than feeling like a demand, making it easier for the other person to engage positively.
6. Respect Their Space. Not everyone has the same level of tolerance for mess or the same organizing
style as you. While it’s fair to expect shared spaces to stay tidy, you might need to compromise on private areas. Let your spouse or kids have more freedom in their personal spaces, like their office, bedroom, or closet.
As long as the clutter isn’t spilling into
shared areas, it’s sometimes best to let them manage their space in their own way.
7. Celebrate Small Wins. Don’t expect a complete transformation overnight. Celebrate small steps towards more organization. Did your kids put their toys away without being asked? Did your spouse clear off the kitchen counter? Acknowledge
these efforts with positive feedback like, “I really appreciate how tidy the kitchen looks now!”
Small encouragements can go a long way in reinforcing positive behavior.
8. Make Organization Easy for Everyone. Sometimes, people resist organizing because they find it too difficult or overwhelming. Help by creating simple systems that make it easy for everyone to stay organized. For example, add hooks by the door for keys and bags, set up labeled bins for toys, or place a basket near the door for shoes.
Making organization as effortless as possible removes the barriers that prevent people from following through, making it more likely your family will stick with it.
Motivating your family to be more organized doesn’t have to feel like a
constant battle. As the old saying goes, "teamwork makes the dream work!"
