If you’ve ever tried to help a disorganized friend, partner, or family member get their act
together, you’ve probably discovered something frustrating: you can’t make someone be organized if they don’t want to be.
No amount of labeling bins or setting up a perfect system will magically turn them into a tidy person overnight. But before you throw in the
towel (or pick it up from the floor for the hundredth time), there are things you can do to make life smoother—for both of you.
1. Lead by Example
Instead of nagging, show them how organizing makes life easier. Keep your own spaces tidy,
demonstrate simple habits like putting things back where they belong, and let them see the benefits firsthand. If they notice you always know where your keys are while they’re searching for theirs again, they just might start rethinking their ways.
2. Give Them Control Over Their Own Spaces
Nobody likes being told what to do, especially when it comes to their own stuff. If they resist organization, focus on your own spaces and let them decide what to do with theirs. A shared space? Try setting some ground rules—like a clutter-free kitchen counter—while letting them keep their personal areas however they like.
3. Find Out What Does Work for Them
Not everyone’s brain works the same way. Maybe traditional filing cabinets aren’t their thing, but a simple labeled basket for incoming mail makes sense to them. Maybe they don’t like planners, but a big wall calendar keeps them on track. Ask what would help rather than assuming they should follow
your method.
4. Make It a Game (or a Challenge!)
Some people love a little competition. If they’re resistant to tidying up, turn it into a challenge—who can clear the most clutter in five minutes? Can they get their car organized before
the next oil change? Adding an element of fun might make them more willing to participate.
5. Handle What Affects You Directly
If their disorganization spills into your life—like stacks of unopened mail on the kitchen table—set boundaries.
Instead of getting frustrated, set up a compromise: “I’d love to keep the table clear for meals. Do you want a bin for your mail instead?” This keeps the focus on how their habits impact shared spaces rather than making them feel attacked.
6. Offer Help, Not Judgment
If they finally show a little interest in getting organized, don’t swoop in with a clipboard and start issuing orders. Instead, ask, “What would make this easier for you?” and let them take the lead. Sometimes, they just need someone to hold a garbage bag while they make decisions.
7. Accept That
Some People Function Differently
Not everyone values organization the same way. If they don’t see a mess as a problem, you may have to accept that their “chaos” isn’t your battle to fight. Instead of wasting energy trying to change them, focus on what you can control—your space, your systems, and your stress levels.
You
can’t force someone to be organized—but you can create a home that works for both of you, set boundaries, and offer help without judgment.
P.S. When you're taking a trip, packing should not be stressful. This carefully curated Travel Smarter: Essentials for Every Trip idea list includes must-have travel essentials that
will keep you organized, comfortable, and ready for any adventure. 
