GON Reader Question
Hi Maria,
Many years have passed since I started reading and gaining wisdom from your daily newsletters. Thank you so much!
Clutter and hoarding have always been a big problem in my life.
About two years ago I moved to a smaller house (grown children are out of the house; I live alone now) and still have about 50 unpacked boxes just sitting there, in the living room, etc.
I realize there won't be storage space for the contents of the boxes.
Maybe for 30 percent at the most. I can't invite over friends and family, and I feel like I'm living in a storage unit.
My daughter is very frustrated and keeps saying "just throw it all in the trash." Well, easier said than done, as I'm sure you know. Before the
move, I threw out a lot of stuff. What I packed in boxes, I'd like to keep.
Do you have any advice for me? I'm truly desperate. I don't want to waste the years I have left (I'm 68 now) surrounded by boxes without friends or family (my children
refuse to visit).
Thank you very much,
-- Monica
Response from Maria
Hi Monica,
First, thank you so much for being a loyal reader all these years. Your heartfelt note touched me deeply.
I hear you, and I completely understand how overwhelming your situation feels right now. Having your living space filled with unpacked boxes can indeed feel isolating and paralyzing, especially when you
know the clutter is impacting your quality of life and relationships.
It’s clear you’ve made strides already by downsizing before your move, so give yourself credit for that. This shows strength and determination.
Since you've mentioned that storage space is limited and can only accommodate about 30 percent of your belongings, it’s important to prepare yourself emotionally for letting go of more items.
Think of each box you part with as
lifting a heavy boulder from your path, clearing the way toward deeper friendships, stronger family connections, and a home that truly welcomes you and your loved ones.
Here’s a gentle approach that I hope you find manageable:
1. One Box a Week: Every Sunday, I'd like you to focus on just one box. Empty it completely and carefully assess what you've stored. Consider this: if an item has remained boxed up for two years, it's likely you don't need it.
So the next question is, is this item something you deeply cherish? If it's a necklace your mom gave you, for instance, take it out and wear it every Tuesday in her honor. If it's something that is likely less "cherish-worthy", like a set of table linens, or paperback books, or clothes, donate them so someone else can benefit from
them.
For those items you decide to keep, work them into your attire, home decor, kitchen essentials, etc. Don't leave them in boxes. Use them. Enjoy them.
My goal for you is to keep no more than 50% of what is in that one box...and future boxes.
2. Digital Memories: For sentimental but bulky items, consider taking digital photographs.
This way, you preserve memories without needing the physical space. Keep the photos; donate the items.
3. Reconnect With Family: Let your daughter and family know you are committed to addressing the clutter...and then prove it to them. Take a photo of the first box. Then take a photo of what you're letting go
from that box. And then donate those items. Do this every single week. Ask for their support and patience during this challenging process. Their understanding and encouragement can provide additional motivation.
Monica, don't allow your stuff to hold you hostage.
Remember, every single box you empty is a step toward reclaiming your home, your comfort, and (most important) your connections with friends and family. You absolutely deserve to live these precious years in comfort, peace, and joy.
You can do this. I truly believe in you. In fact, please write to me next week...I'm hoping you're going to tell me that you've tackled that first box and you're on this new clutter-free journey towards happiness.
Warmly,
Maria
On another note...
We all have those people in our lives who are nearly impossible to shop for...they seem to have everything! In light of this, I’ve curated a list of practical, thoughtful, and delightfully unexpected gift ideas they’re sure to love. Visit:
