A GON READER ASKS...

Hi Maria,

I lost my mother over a year ago. My 92-year old dad has been living on his own. His house is not cluttered. In fact, it looks exactly like it did before my mom died, nice and neat. The problem is, he will not allow me to help him donate my mom's clothes that are still in their closet and dresser. He won't allow me to get rid of her knitting supplies. He doesn't want me touching her cosmetics that are still in the bathroom makeup caddy. Obviously, he was, and still is, heartbroken over her loss...as is the rest of the family.

Still, I think he's making it harder for himself to 'act' as if his wife is still alive. My husband and I, and our kids visit every other week...as well as my two sisters and their families. We all feel the same. But when we bring it up, it's very upsetting to our father.

Any thoughts?

Janet P, Reading, PA

RESPONSE FROM MARIA GRACIA

Hi Janet, Thank you for your note. My deepest condolences on the loss of your mom. I'd venture to guess that she and your dad were married for quite a long time...a lifetime of memories and being together. The grieving time, from one person to another, can be very different. Even though you, your family, and your sisters' families feel it's time to donate and that doing so is the right thing to do, your dad may feel otherwise.

Here are a few ideas:

1) Don't try to get it all done at once. You might say something like, 'Dad...how about a week before Thanksgiving I stop by and look through mom's closet to see if there are any winter coats we can pass on to someone in need? I know mom would have liked that.' He may respond better to having a few items donated at a time, rather than everything at once.

2) Offer assistance. Perhaps say, 'Dad, I miss mom so much and know you do too. I'd really like to help you sort through some of her belongings over the next few months. Will you allow me to do that? There are some items I might like to keep in my home (as well as the other members of the family). Would this be OK with you? Or, if it's too hard on you, I can sort through a little bit at a time myself.'

3) Be patient and understanding. When some people lose their spouse, they donate everything immediately. Others can take years. You already said your dad's house isn't cluttered and he's not in any kind of danger. If he gets very upset when you approach him, and you've done so in the gentlest way, I honestly recommend you let him be. When he's ready, he'll let you know.

Who knows what life will bring in the next few years? Yes, certainly bring it up now and then...and continue to offer your help and love. However, unless there's a safety concern, it does no good to traumatize someone into parting with their deceased spouse's belongings, especially a 92-year old widower.

Hugs,

Maria

To fast-forward on your journey to happiness, visit:

getorganizednow.com/happy-for-life-sl.html

The search for greater happiness never ends. So a resource that makes it easier for you to increase your daily happiness has the potential for a huge positive impact on your life.

Some believe that happiness is the result of luck, good genes or positive circumstances. But none of those things explain why some people are eternally happy no matter what their situation, while others, who seem to have it all, struggle to find happiness.

Through my research and years of first-hand work with hundreds of clients, I have discovered that your personal happiness can be controlled by attitude and an organized system of Happiness Actions designed to maximize your daily levels of happiness.

Whether you're looking for just a little more happiness or a whole lot, Happy for Life includes the information you need to multiply your happiness levels! For more details, including the three factors that contribute most to increasing your level of happiness in your life, visit:

getorganizednow.com/happy-for-life-sl.html


As a loyal reader of my GON Newsletter, you get something extra special. When you obtain your copy of Happy For Life BEFORE FRIDAY, AUGUST 17TH at 11:59PM Central Time, you will also get over $100 in COMPLIMENTARY BONUSES!

GON Organizing for Kids: When we teach kids to organize their belongings from a young age, it won't be so challenging, as they get older, for them to do so themselves. Here are 3 vital steps to be successful in helping your kids get and stay organized
getorganizednow.com/organizing-kids-organizing-skills.html


GON Organizing for Men: Men: Wouldn't it be nice to own dress shoes that last...forever?! Or at least close to forever? Here's how! (Women...pass this on to the special men in your life!)

getorganizednow.com/organizing-men-dress-shoes-last-forever.html


GON Dirty Little Secret: I always have this one unlikely item in the kitchen, in case I have to clean up broken glass...
getorganizednow.com/dirty-little-secret-broken-glass.html.html


In ADDITION, on my home page, you'll also find lots of NEW and featured STUFF including...

* Confidence: That's the theme of the two quotes on my home page this week. Check them out and be inspired

* GON Social Media Feature: What happens when you clean up your kids' toys? This is so funny and cute

* Expenditures This School Year: Discover how much, on average, parents will be spending on school supplies, clothing, etc. for their kids for the upcoming back-to-school season

* Can you guess?: For schools that require uniforms, can you guess what the top three colors are? Guess...and then find out on my home page

Access all of the above on my home page. Visit:
getorganizednow.com

There are memories that time does not erase. Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable. (Cassandra Clare)





I'd love to hear from you.
Comments, suggestions, or just to say hello. Just REPLY to this email with a short note.

And remember...Being organized creates a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life!

Warmly,

Maria Gracia
Get Organized Now!

getorganizednow.com

(c) Copyright 2018 by Maria Gracia, Get Organized Now!

* Copyright, contact and reprint information:
getorganizednow.com/contact.html

* You signed up to receive our Idea-Kit and/or our Newsletter at our Get Organized Now! Web site. We never add names unless you have voluntarily opted in.

* We never rent, trade or sell our email list to anyone. You'll never get an unsolicited email from a stranger as a result of joining this list.

* If you happen to purchase anything I recommend in this or any of my communications, its likely I'll receive some kind of affiliate compensation. Still, I only recommend stuff that I truly believe in and share with my friends and family. If you ever have an issue with anything I recommend please let me know. I want to make sure I am always serving you at the highest level.

* To subscribe, visit:
getorganizednow.com/free-ezine.html




* To unsubscribe, if you absolutely must go, please click the link below. However . . .

YIKES! - If you unsubscribe, you'll lose all the complimentary organizing resources I share with my loyal readers each week. You'll lose the Weekly Tips, Reader Tips, Reader Clinics, complimentary videos, ebooks, resource recommendations, and the many valuable bonuses I offer each month (some totaling hundreds of dollars). Please don't go. I love sending you all of this free training. I'd be lost and lonely without you. If there is something more you would like from my newsletters, then please reply to this email and let me know.
-- Maria Gracia