In response to my My Dad Won't Part With My Deceased Mom's Belongings newsletter issue:

Maria, you were spot on with two of your suggestions to Linda from Reading. At his age, and if his safety is not an issue, it's very probable that the presence of his late wife's possessions brings him comfort, so leave them. The children really have no right to impose their belief that it's time to get rid of this stuff, if he still wants it.

My grandmother kept her late husband's coat and hat on the hall tree by the door for many years after he died, so I don't think Linda's father is unique in that regard. Your suggestion about coats, in particular, was a great segue into starting the process of passing things along. Most people would be willing to part with things that others less fortunate might really need, and there will be coat drives soon enough to highlight that. If he's receptive to doing that, maybe additional items could be suggested for donation in the future.

Everyone processes their grief in a different way and on a different schedule, and the children pressing too hard to get rid of mom's things, or to take them themselves, could damage their relationship with their dad for whatever time he has left, and it's simply not worth doing that.

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