A GON Reader Asks

Hi Maria,

I was just curious, do you have any tips on how to organize and prepare one's child for college? There is so much to keep track of and so much to do, with applications, testing, financial aid, tours, appointments and so much more. And that is all BEFORE you get into a college! Then there is ALL that has to be done once accepted.

All the while, juggling my emotions of an empty nest makes it that much harder!

Thank you so much!

This Reader Question was submitted by:

--Melanie


Maria Gracia responds...

Hi Melanie,

I hear you...I have a sophomore in high school and she is already talking about colleges and we're already preparing for some college visits this summer. I've done some reading and research (and talking to friends who have sent their kids off to college already) on this and here is some of what I've come up with so far...

Keep all information together and easy to access

Begin with a 3-ring binder with dividers and 3-hole-punched binder pockets (I like the vinyl ones because they can hold a nice amount of paper without ripping.) Make a general list of 'things to do,' print that list, and put it in the FIRST section of your binder (take SAT, send to each school, make appointments for college visits, research grants, etc.) If you need to revise that list, you can open the computer file, make the change, reprint it, and exchange it with the one in your binder. Try to keep the tasks in chronological order...starting with things that have to be done now...all the way to things that can be done last-minute.

In addition, make a pros and cons list on your computer for each school, print it out, and also keep that in the FIRST section of your binder for quick reference.

As you begin to get information from schools, keep information for each school your son has applied to in the binder pockets. Note: You'll get thick pocket folders from each school. Transfer the paperwork from those into your vinyl folders. This way, everything will be in your one binder. (Note: You may have to 3-hole punch the papers you get, so be sure you have a 3-hole punch tool.)

Immediately recycle materials from schools of which your son is not interested. Or, if you think it's possible he could change his mind, put them in a separate large envelope in your filing cabinet.

The first page in each school's section should be a checklist of things to do or remember for each school and their due dates. Things like the application due dates, any deposit which needs to accompany that (dorm applications or special program applications, overnight visits after applying, when school starts, dorm move-in days, what size bed sheets for the dorm beds, when is family weekend, etc.) All the pages to follow would be any paperwork you get from those particular schools.

Here are TO DOs around application time

Encourage your son to do things to be well-rounded (volunteer, join activities, etc.)

Contact teachers, coaches, and friends who can write letters of recommendation. Have plenty, remembering some write better letters than others.

He might not like it, but suggest that you, or perhaps a trusted teacher or advisor read his application letters for spelling and grammar.

Have a calendar where you can write dates for tests, visits, etc. You could even color-code entries by school.

Some non-academic suggestions

Then there are the non-academic things your son needs to know before he heads off.

Budgeting. Most adults have done it for so long that we don't think about it too much. Not all young people have much experience here. Consider a credit card (with a reasonably low limit.) They are handy for unexpected expenses and emergencies, but students should understand that a 'guy weekend' or a midnight order of 'Insomnia Cookies' is not the purpose of the card.

Does he know how to do laundry? How to separate clothes?

Then, of course, there is the parental talk about drinking, drugs, parties, sex, etc. No one is especially comfortable with it usually, but with a lot of new freedoms ahead, the topics probably need to be visited or revisited. Even the most mature students are still young and sometimes make unwise decisions.

As for your emotional well-being...

Like you, I am definitely not ready mentally to send my 'baby' off to college in a few years. On the other hand, I know what an exciting time this is going to be for her...and seeing her happy makes me happy. Plus, I know there will be a lot to look forward to on the horizon that you and I are both going to be so proud of.

And, by the way, I hear there are a lot of perks to empty nesting. So, while you're helping your son make his checklists...don't forget to make some for yourself too. Life's really an adventure, isn't it?

--Maria

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