A GON Reader Asks

Hi Maria,

My kid is off from school indefinitely due to the Coronavirus scare. He is a teenager in high school. They're going to be sending him assignments online and he's going to have to do his schoolwork at home. I have to work, and I'm afraid he's going to sit home playing video games and texting his friends, instead of doing his schoolwork. What can I do to help encourage him to get his work done and be productive during his time off?

This Reader Question was submitted by:

--A concerned mom in New Jersey


Maria Gracia responds...

Dear Concerned Mom,

Many schools around the country are closing right now to try to stop the rapid spread of this virus, and my teenager in high school is being affected just like your son. Schools in Wisconsin are closed and may reopen on April 6th...maybe. That is nearly a month off and a whole lot of time off from school for sure.

First, I suggest you meet with your son (with your spouse if you're married) and give him your expectations.

When you meet with him, empathize with the situation. You might say, 'It is definitely more challenging to focus at home when you have to work independently than when you are in school and a teacher is right in front of you. That being said, I really need you to be mindful of this. You can certainly text your friends and play your video games, but only as a reward for your school efforts, and not in place of them.'

He may surprise you and just do his work. I would give him the benefit of the doubt first.

But if two days go by and you're getting concerned that he's spending the entire day having fun and getting nothing done...

1) Meet with your son again and agree to a schoolwork start time and end time, which preferably would follow the pattern of a normal school day. My daughter is going to work on each of her subjects in the order and during the time she normally works on them when she is at school, taking her lunch break at the exact school lunch break hour. I like this because when she goes back to school, she will still be 'in the routine' of a normal school day. Remind your son that he's not on vacation and this 'emergency off time' should be treated just like a regular 'school day.'

2) I would also have him write specific goals like, 'write essay on ... (whatever subject he's working on', or 'complete online geometry assignments 5.9 and 5.10', or 'read 5 chapters of...' Then, when you come home from work, meet with him and have him show you what he completed for each subject. In other words, have him show you the paper, go online and show you the completed math assignment or the email to his teacher proving it was submitted, tell you about the chapters he read, etc.

3) A little bit of bribery doesn't hurt. Can you make his favorite dinner for him once he shows you his progress? Can he get a little extra spending money for the weekend (or for an online purchase) because he has been so cooperative? Can he get out of some chores for the time he's off if he's doing great?

If he did his work, wonderful. I'm sure you'll be hearing from his teachers if he needs to work harder, and likely, the teachers in your son's school are easily accessible if you want to find out how he's doing, if he has missing assignments, etc. Don't be afraid to email them and ask.

If he's not doing his work, his grades are suffering, and you've given him every opportunity to get going on his own, you may have to limit his phone data and put restrictions on his computer. He's definitely old enough to be responsible, so hopefully you won't have to resort to this.

No doubt, having kids home from school for extended periods of time is not going to be an easy road for many, many parents, especially for those with younger children that can't really take care of themselves alone. But us parents of teenagers have our own challenges as well...like keeping our kids on track when the temptations of being at home and all the luxuries that brings are present.

As has been said in the past, 'this too shall pass' and hopefully soon enough the kids will be back in school and life will go back to normal (or somewhat normal) again.

Stay healthy and enjoy your family when you're home from work for the day and on the weekends. The kids grow up way too fast. Our kids will be in college before we know it and then our next challenge will be missing them while they're away.

--Maria

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