I was chatting recently with a woman who kept apologizing as she talked. Not for anything
she’d done, but for who she thought she was.
“I’m terrible at organizing.”
“You’d never believe how bad my house is.”
“I just don’t have the organizing gene.”
Every sentence came with a put-down attached.
And here’s the thing: nothing she described sounded
unusual, lazy, or hopeless. It sounded like someone juggling life (work, responsibilities, people, and a very full calendar) while being incredibly hard on herself.
Somewhere along the way, she decided her struggle meant failure.
It doesn’t.
When Organizing Becomes a Personal Judgment
Many people don’t just say what
they’re struggling with; they say who they are.
Not “I haven’t figured out a system yet,” but “I’m bad at this.”
Not “This season is overwhelming,” but “I should be able to
handle it.”
That kind of self-talk is heavy. And it makes organizing feel like a character flaw instead of a learnable skill.
Organizing isn’t about perfection. It’s about
decisions, habits, and support. And those can change.
You’re Not Behind...You’re Just Human
The woman I spoke with was doing a lot right. She was aware of
what wasn’t working. She wanted things to feel calmer. She cared. Those are not the traits of someone who’s “bad” at organizing.
They’re the traits of someone who hasn’t been shown a way that fits her life yet.
Most organizing challenges aren’t about motivation or willpower. They’re about:
Too many responsibilities at once
Systems that worked
once but don’t anymore
Trying to do things the way someone else does
Expecting all-or-nothing results
None of that deserves self-criticism.
Let’s Retire the Label
If
you’ve ever caught yourself saying, “I’m just not an organized person,” try this instead:
“I’m learning what works for me.”
“I haven’t found the right approach
yet.”
“This is harder right now...and that’s okay.”
Words matter. Especially the ones we repeat to ourselves.
You don’t need to become “an organized person.” You just need a few supportive habits AND permission to stop being so hard on yourself.
Progress begins when the put-downs stop.
On another note...New Year, Ready for Anything: Simple Essentials to Start Fresh: Everyday items that support fresh
starts, gentle routines, and a more organized, intentional year ahead.Essentials for the New Year
